Recently I have been going through sort of an old transformation. When I began this blog over seven years ago, I was not sure what direction I wanted it to go, or even what I really interested in writing about. It was just a fun little exercise in nonsense. Over the years this site developed into one which concentrates on beauty, eroticism and spirituality. Occasionally I will write on a political topic, although I tend to avoid these because I really do not want to deal with the animus that often arises in people when the topics are political. Cultural things are also of an interest to me.
In time, sex, spirituality and religion became one of the main topics here, especially the way sexuality and spirituality either colluded or conflicted. Recently, however, I have found myself growing tired of the more explicit aspects of sexuality, so I have decided to stop writing about them. There are plenty of sites out there that deal with explicit sex, and I no longer want this site to be one of them. In fact, I have grown tired of the over saturation of explicit sexuality in our society. Too much public, vulgar, unbridled sexuality lessens the depth and and beauty of a healthy sexuality, and diminishes us as humans. We can be animals if we want, and certainly at times there is nothing quite as delightful as good, physical sex, but when it is completely divorced from all mystery, sensuality, and, most important of all, love, then it becomes merely a meaningless, bestial activity.
Beauty and eroticism are still important topics to me though, so I will continue to write about them. One of things I find important to write about, and to express to others who may be experiencing the same things, is how spirituality, religion and sexuality can often conflict greatly in a person. It is one of those things I simply have no answer to, but I think it is important that it is at least written about in an open and honest way. There are many people who are quite spiritual and even religious, but who are also quite highly sexual, especially if they are not in a relationship, and at the same time privately tortured by their unresolved sexual feelings and struggles. There are even those who are married or in some sort of relationship, but their sexuality is different from their partner’s, especially in desire and intensity. This can lead to problems in a relationship, even in one’s relationship with God.
For a few years I had been separated from my religion, Catholicism. I suppose it was a classic crisis of faith. I won’t get into the details here as I prefer to keep those things private; but what I will say is that over the past few months I have returned to the Church, and, after having done so, I am quite happy I have. I can see now that I need God and faith more than anything, and without them I am a lesser person. I will also say that prayer is one of the most powerful tools we have for peace and happiness. This is not new to me; for most of my life I have known and practiced these things, but the past few years I became detached from them. Now that I have reincorporated these practices into my life, I can only wonder why I ever stopped in the first place.
As far as my particular religion, Catholicism, I even wrote some things on here that were quite critical, even insulting to the Church. They reflect my state of mind at the time, but now I reject them. They are no longer on this site. Still, that is not to say that there still won’t be posts on here that seem to contradict many of the official teachings of the Church. I still believe that feminine beauty is a wonderful creation of God, so tasteful, artistic nudes will still be posted on here; but I will avoid anything which is crass or overly explicit, as I have often tried to do.
So I guess I have simply gotten tired of too much sexuality, and will no longer be writing things of an explicit nature. I will still write about beauty and sensuality and eroticism, but all in the context of a larger theme of how we can incorporate these in our lives without them becoming harmful or destructive, and especially how they related to those who are seeking God.
Life is a constant journey: we grow, we change, we discover new things, we discard old things. The important thing is that the directions we are heading in are the right ones. When you trust in God, or at least some sort of divine guidance, then you can trust your journey is in good hands.
Good luck with whatever comes your way, Racer! I wish you the best!
Tom Arrow said:
I respect your decision, but selfishly wish you haf left those articles up. In my eyes, God is in everything and even those things were an expression of that. I feel a bit of regret about you rejecting those aspects of your self now. I don’t think there is any real conflict between spirituality and sexuality. The conflict only arises from ego judgments, which religion is all but free of.
Racer X said:
Thanks for the well wishes! I hope you still come here and comment.
Thanks for the comment. Well, I might put those back up if there is a demand. In the meantime, it is not so much about a rejection of that part of myself, but more so as I get older I am simply less and less interested in writing about those things and want to focus on other things. That well has run dry and it is time to move on.
Tom Arrow said:
Yeah, I get it. Somewhat. Im still young. I for once would welcome it if your blog were complete, I really liked it that you were courageous enough to post all that. But it is your call!
I’ll be around. I’m a little sad to see those parts go, you’re among the most eloquent when it comes to sexy content.
I welcome your change of position and I support it. I look forward to any new posts, opinions , reflections etc.
As I get or have gotten older ( mid 40’s now) I now have also see sexuality in a faith context and believe that there is nothing more beautiful nor spiritually uplifting than to have sex with my husband as we are united in a holy sacramental marriage and our sex life if I can call it that is nothing less than truly mystical, erotic and sublime and yes unitive.