What upsets me the most about religion is the anger and hatred that I see in so much of Christianity today. Rick Santorum is one angry Catholic. So many others in the public realm seem so angry and bitter in the name of Christianity. Often I have been attacked and my beliefs questioned because of my writings. How is this appealing? I suppose there has always been this strain within Christianity. But why should I let that influence my belief in God, and in my desire for spiritual sustenance. I have to remember that none of us are perfect. We all can improve.
I continue to believe. It is just that I cannot blindly accept everything that the Catholic Church tells me as being the absolute truth. Not to question things is inhuman. Does the Church really expect us to be mindless, zombie like adherents? I suppose some people can simply submit to Church authority and obey, but I am not one of them. I cannot simply deny and ignore all my experiences in life to fit my mind and beliefs and personality into an abstract doctrine or theology, especially when it comes to the messy world of human relationships. I think the Church is a few hundred years behind on certain matters.
Faith is truly a strange journey. One day I am angry; the next day I feel close to God, the next day I am questioning everything. In the end, as far as Christianity is concerned, it is all about Christ and your relationship with Him. Perhaps that sounds Protestant, but the Protestants have a good point on this one. Too many Catholics get caught up in a sort of idolatry of the Pope, or the Church itself, or the nuances of theology, and miss the big picture, or rather, miss the point of it all, which in the end is Christ.
So I continue along this path, uncertain and unsure about things, but still trusting in God that He is guiding me along the right path, for whatever reasons.