Monthly Archives: December 2011

Message to the Morality Police

29 Thursday Dec 2011

Posted by in art, beauty, erotica, women

≈ Leave a comment

I like the colors in this painting...

There is a plethora of good erotic image blogs out there. What is most interesting, since this is nothing new, is that many of these blogs are being produced by women. These women admit on their blogs that they enjoy porn. That’s right, women enjoy erotic images too. What is fascinating about the internet is that it has allowed previously presumed notions about women and their sexuality to be debunked. The standard notion before the open communication of the internet existed, was that women were much more aural than visual, and enjoyed reading about sex and romance rather than seeing images of sex. This still may be true in a general sense, but it is becoming increasing clear through the anonymous online world that women are enticed by visual depictions of sex as well. Another previous notion was that all women needed emotional involvement to enjoy sex; I am sure this is true for many if not most women, but the vast number of blogs out there written by women who chronicle their casual sexual exploits is another nail in that ancient mythology. Female sexuality is much more fluid than traditional, Victorian inspired notions have lead us to believe.

What is most interesting with these blogs, however, is the quality of the erotica that women enjoy viewing. From what I have seen, although women enjoy things are just as explicit as men, they tend to view porn which is of a higher aesthetic quality. I find myself searching the blogs of primarily female porn consumers to find images which I think have deeper aesthetic qualities than your run of the mill porn. Plus, it is just a turn on to know what women enjoy sexually in these areas, that they too enjoy erotic images. It is as if many women enjoy graphic and explicit porn, just as much as men do, they just don’t enjoy crudely made porn.

Here are a few examples of what I would consider good erotic photography. Why are they good? There is an artistic component to them. They are not merely images of people fucking for the sake of selling a video or web site, but rather images created by a photographer with a view towards expressing something that is pleasing and beautiful, something that also reflects the deeper elements of sexuality. The lighting is good, the beauty of the body highlighted, the mystery of an elusive eroticism captured.

For instance, this first image expresses well the beauty of a woman’s back and ass. It is always beautiful as well as enticing to see the soft yet subtle curves of a woman’s back leading down to her ass. The position of the man’s hands only heighten this even more. His lower hand seems to be about to explore her most secret regions, something which I am most fond of doing with a woman as well. The image is beautiful, but also sensual without being too explicit.

The second image is more explicit, yet still maintains some sort of mystery. We don’t see her whole body, but we see the man’s back, which would be pleasing to the female spectators. Their kiss is tender, but since they are both naked, we know that a deeper and hotter sexuality is probably about to happen, or perhaps has already happened. We really don’t know, which lets our imagination wander, and the use of the imagination is always a great stimulate in eroticism.

Finally, this image is the most explicit. Notice however there is nothing really shown and yet it is still hot. I particularly like the hidden yet still pleasurable expression on her face, as well as the way her panties are curled up around her calves. He is pleasuring her in ways that I enjoy pleasuring a woman as well. And women enjoy receiving such pleasures…

Erotic art has been around since the beginning of time. These images are just a few drops in the vast sea of erotica that now exists online. They are quite mild compared to some other, more graphic and yet still artistic expressions of sex and eroticism, images which are often gladly posted by women. Some would call these images I just posted porn. To some such images are a grave sin. Some would enjoy calling the morality police to destroy them. To me they are simply good, tasteful and artistic depictions of our human sexuality.

Bernini: Great Catholic Artist of Beauty and Eroticism

24 Saturday Dec 2011

Posted by in art, beauty, eroticism, religion, spirituality

≈ 3 Comments

In celebration of Christmas, I thought I would write a little post on one of the great Catholic artists of all time: Gian Lorenzo Bernini (1598-1680). Although Bernini is primarily known for his great sculptures, he was also a great architect and painter. Often the artists of the Renaissance period (although Bernini is technically outside of this period–he is considered more Baroque than Renaissance) were accomplished in different branches of art. Michelangelo, for instance, was both a great painter, sculptor, architect, and even a poet. One of the things I enjoy about this period in artistic history is the variety of skills so many of these great men possessed. The term “Renaissance Man” has always been a favorite of mine, especially in our modern world of narrow specializations. With his works scattered all throughout Rome, it is often said that Bernini did more to make modern Rome look like what it looks like today than any other man.

What is interesting about Bernini, for this blog, is that he progressed in his artistic life from an earlier period where he was greatly attracted to Classical, Greco-Roman themes, to eroticism and sensuality, to a more purely religious and spiritual period later on, without abandoning that same eroticism and sensuality. And yet whether he was creating works that dealt with ancient pagan themes, or themes of a Christian nature, the art work he created was always great. The hallmark of Bernini’s work is his movement: the lifelike and theatrical motion of his figures was the product of his high genius.

One of his early works (ca. 1622) is his Apollo and Daphne. The story is that Apollo espied the wood nymph Daphne one day, and, inflamed by an arrow with which Cupid had capriciously shot him, he chased Daphne. She did not want him, so she prayed to her father, a river god, to free her from Apollo’s pursuit. He in turned changed her into a laurel tree. Apollo, distraught by his failure to win Daphne over, made the laurel his sacred tree and hence the use of laurel as a mark of success in later artistic, athletic or intellectual contests. Bernini captures the moment when Daphne is changing into a tree, just as Apollo is about to grasp her. The work is a good symbol of sexual frustration: the god Apollo is eternally about to, but not quite capture, the fleeing Daphne.

Apollo and Daphne

Bernini was so skilled with marble that he could make it seem like soft flesh, as in another early work of his, sculpted around 1621: The Rape of Proserpina. In this story the god of the underworld, Hades, steals Proserpina, daughter of Demeter, who was a  goddess of wheat and agriculture, to be his wife. Demeter is outraged and threatens the world with famine but eventually a bargain is struck between Hades and Demeter where half the year Proserpina will spend on the earth with her mother, and the other half of the year she will spend below in the underworld with Hades, her new husband. In antiquity this was the explanation for the change of seasons: the half of year Proserpina spent on the earth was the fertile time of the year for planting and harvesting; the second half of the year, the winter, was when she spent time below with Hades. It is an old and famous story but one that attracted Bernini first and foremost because of the sexual nature of the story: Hades wanted Prosperina sexually and this is what Bernini emphasizes in his sculpture.

The Rape of Proserpina

What is particularly famous and delightful in his sculpture is how Bernini captures the very fingers of Hades pressing into Proserpina’s soft flesh. It is remarkable and quite sensual. I am sure John Ashcroft would have covered it up as being too pornographic. Michele Bachman, Rick Perry and Rick Santorum, as well as every member of the Tea Party, would most likely like to destroy this image. Imagine, naked female flesh being displayed like that! Such a thing is a threat to “family values”!

Bernini somehow captures the softness of her flesh in marble.

Bernini displays the nexus of spirituality and eroticism. Even his more mature Catholic sculptures are often drenched with eroticism. Bernini is said to have had many lovers when younger, but later on he became much more deeply spiritual. His Ecstasy of St. Teresa is a product of his later, more mature years, most likely created between 1647-1652. And yet even here we still see the artist’s love of sensuality and eroticism. It is one of the most famous examples of an artwork that is both deeply religious and deeply erotic.

The mixture of spirituality and eroticism in this work is stunning. Her face is clearly orgasmic.

The story is that St. Teresa, a Carmelite nun and Church reformer in the 16th century, experienced a mystical union with God. An angel appeared to her and pierced her with a spear of love, as she later wrote. Despite the purely spiritual nature of her mystical union, her description is somewhat, if not very, erotic. She describes the moment the angel of God pierced her:

I saw in his hand a long spear of gold, and at the iron’s point there seemed to be a little fire. He appeared to me to be thrusting it at times into my heart, and to pierce my very entrails; when he drew it out, he seemed to draw them out also, and to leave me all on fire with a great love of God. The pain was so great, that it made me moan; and yet so surpassing was the sweetness of this excessive pain, that I could not wish to be rid of it. The soul is satisfied now with nothing less than God. The pain is not bodily, but spiritual; though the body has its share in it. It is a caressing of love so sweet which now takes place between the soul and God, that I pray God of His goodness to make him experience it who may think that I am lying

Notice the language: the “thrusting” of the spear into her, a spear which contains an iron point of fire (seems phallic to me); he “pierces my very entrails” and is deep inside her; he pulls it out and leaves her on fire; the pain “made her moan” and yet there is the “sweetness of this excessive pain”; now that she has been penetrated by this spiritual spear, “the soul is satisfied with nothing less than God”; it was a “caressing of love” between her soul and God. This language is something I would have used in some of my more decadent erotic writings and reminds me quite well of how a woman will describe the feeling of sexual penetration and the longing to have the man inside her afterward.

As a sculptor, Bernini captures the eroticism of this passage brilliantly. The angel appears more as a playful cupid figure than a stern and distant heavenly being, and St. Teresa’s expression is quite orgasmic. Bernini, having enjoyed the sensual pleasures of sexual love earlier in his life, and yet now working as a deeply religious artist, channeled his experiences into a beautiful artistic representation of a deeply spirituality moment. Mystics often say the sensation of a union with God is the most powerful thing in the world, with the orgasm coming in a close second. Bernini certainly depicts this.

So Bernini captured well, among all his other great achievements, a wonderful harmony of sexuality and spirituality. Many of the great masters of the past were able to do this, because many were both deeply spiritual and deeply sexual. It is something that too many modern Christians have forgotten in our overly puritanical approach to faith and sex that we carry on from the Reformation. I say lets get back to some earthly forms of spirituality. After all, Christmas is about the incarnation of Christ, i.e., the belief that God became man, took on flesh, and was one of us. Great artists like Bernini often capture these deep spiritual notions in way that the dry theologians often cannot.

The Bishop’s Wife: A Great Traditional Christmas Movie about Erotic Love

17 Saturday Dec 2011

Posted by in culture, love, religion, women

≈ 1 Comment

Cary Grant (The Angle Dudley), David Niven (The Bishop) and Loretta Young (The Bishop's Wife) in a love triangle

The Bishop’s Wife is a favorite Christmas movie of mine. Made in 1947, It has a deeply spiritual message, without it being overly unctuous or proselytizing. In short, Cary Grant plays an angel (Dudley) who is on a mission to help a Bishop (David Niven) find the true meaning of Christmas. In the process, Grant falls in love with the Bishop’s wife (Loretta Young) and she with him. A sort of love triangle develops, which naturally leads to all sorts of situations, many comical.

Strangely and unexpectedly it has some relevance to modern ideas of “Game” and erotic love which I would like to write a little about here.

It is interesting to apply elements of Game to some of these older movies, especially the ones from Hollywood’s “Golden Age”, because these elements apply quite well. We see Game at work in many older and traditional plots. The writers, actors and directors knew about Game, although it had not been defined as so back then. What they knew were the universal truths that women follow certain patterns of behaviors in the real world of love and romance, even sex; I find these older movies often portray these things better than the more modern, feminist dominated movie world, where the fantasy of how men and women should act is more predominant than the reality. This may seem like a contradiction: we would expect the more modern film world to more realistically portray the relationship between the sexes. And yet, I have found that older movies tend to better tap into the natural harmony between the sexes. Traditional gender roles existed for a reason: they worked. Men were dominant, women more submissive. Men tended toward career, women toward motherhood and child rearing. Certainly there were exceptions. But these are the predominant patterns of behaviors that have sustained all human societies throughout all of human history. It has only been in the last forty years that we have witnessed the total breakdown of this in the Western world. The social ills unleashed by this phenomenon are obvious.

In more modern film, the women tend to be tough, masculine, and hyper sexual. They conquer careers. They sleep with anyone with abandon or real consequences. They are successful and invincible. Men are often portrayed as weak and fumbling and stupid. In older movies the women are also more feminine than most modern actresses. Just compare Meghan Fox with Lana Turner, say. Lana Turner played many femme fatales, but she still possessed a femininity that someone like Meghan Fox lacks. Most men would find that femininity more appealing than the overly masculine nature of most modern women.

In the Bishop’s Wife Grant is at odds with Niven, mostly because the Bishop senses how his wife is more attracted to Grant than to him. Niven is cold, rigid and anal. His wife is unhappy. Grant is fun, open, and exciting. She naturally falls for him. He his powerful. Her husband, though a bishop, comes across as weak and petulant.  He often acts like a beta in the face of his difficulties. Given her husband’s lack of passion, his indecisiveness, she naturally develops an emotional relationship with Grant. In one scene, after Grant has taken the Bishop’s wife out for a day of fun, she responds: “I am having so much fun. I feel as though I were doing something wicked.”

Grant and Young getting closer

How true. Women enjoy being entertained. But they also enjoy, and are turned on, by the idea of doing something forbidden, something naughty. Many good, pious women read my blog because, well, I write about forbidden things. Although the scene and statement she made are quite innocent, the truth she utters is universal, that women are turned on by something that is slightly dangerous, that even a pious wife of a morally upright Bishop is susceptible to falling in love with another man. In short, Grant makes her wet. Her husband has dried up her vagina.

There is another great scene of eros in this movie. Grant converses with old woman, who, although quite wealthy, is cold, bitter and difficult. She is the Bishop’s chief adversary in his pursuit of building a cathedral, in that she is contributing a large amount of money and wants the design of the chapel to honor her wishes. She and the Bishop do not see eye to eye on this. After she meets Grant, she reveals how she once loved a musician, but was afraid to marry him because he was poor, and she feared poverty. The relationship ended, he eventually died, and she ended up marrying another man whom she did not love, but who loved her. Driven by a certain degree of guilt, after his death she tried  to preserve his memory. And yet she is clearly unhappy. Dudley coaxes this confession out of her, and this changes her for the better. Afterward, as a renewed woman, she says: “Meeting Dudley has been the greatest spiritual experience of my life”. The acknowledgment of the power of her previous love has made her a better person.

It was the power of love, not simply a pure and idealized love, but an erotic, romantic love of her past life, that she has changed her. Although her love died long ago, the memory of that lost love, and her confession about her later, loveless marriage to her late husband, transforms her into a better person. How many women are in loveless marriages because they married someone out fear and not out of passion? How many men must suffer with such wives? I imagine such situation are rife with problems

At another point in the movie the Bishop is lamenting to a Professor friend of his about how he feels he has lost the love of his wife. The Professor, who as we learn was in his younger days quite a ladies man, retorts that he simply needs to love her: “Julia is a creature of the earth; and you are a man.” Yes, his wife is a creature of the earth. She is a woman, flesh and blood, and he is a man. As a man he should not be afraid to love her. And he needs to act on that love. Eventually, with Dudley’s help, he does.

Although a pious woman, she is still "A creature of the earth".

How do we define this phrase, “A woman of the earth”? To put it bluntly: she has a vagina; her vagina gets wet; she desires sex and love; she needs sex and love; she needs to be fucked and she needs to be fucked hard and often. Let’s not idealize sexual love too much. People want to call it “making love”, but the reality of sex is that it is messy and physical. Bodily fluids are exchanged; sheets get wet; we feel orgasmic pleasure. We become more animalistic in sex than at any other occasion, except perhaps war.

Finally, in the last line of the movie that Grant says to the Bishop about his wife:

“Kiss her for me…”

Remember, this is coming from an angel, but an angel who is on the earth in the guise of a man. But the heavenly angel knows what the earthly man, the Bishop, does not know: Women love to be kissed. Many men do not understand this. Even most game adherents are woefully clueless about such principles of feminine desires.

Game implies that men need to manipulate a woman into sex. This of course has truth, if manipulating women into bed is your goal. However, the best way to get a woman into bed, and to have her enjoy sex as best she can, which will increase the man’s sexual pleasure, is through love. Many people are afraid of love, because they are afraid of the pain and humiliation that comes with love lost. But this is really what women crave the most: love, passion, and the passionate sex that comes through heated love. The great lovers in the world were not afraid of love. Most game advocates, although they may have high numbers, are not great lovers. Even Roissy often waxed eloquently about the pleasures of experiencing a deep love with a woman, and yet many of his followers seem little more than sexually frustrated guys angry at their lack of success with women.

It is through love, the power of love and the mystery of love, that the deepest and most intense erotic experiences are enjoyed. Now I have had many casual and free encounters with women sexually, and have enjoyed those, but rarely I have ever been truly involved with a woman where there was not at least some degree of mutual love. Women love to be loved. In my life, the best sexual experiences are those that occur within the context of love. But it has to be the right kind of love. Women want to be loved not in a sycophantic way, but in a passionate way; they want to feel alive and special and they also want to feel the gina tingle; they want to get wet when they think about you and when a woman thinks about you and gets wet or masturbates, she is most likely in love with you. They want to love your power and strength and masculinity. This cannot be achieved through mere manipulative game alone; principles of game can help you reach that goal, it can get a woman in bed and help increase your count; but ultimately if you are not true in your love, if you are afraid to love, the woman will see through this and eventually it will end and her vagina will dry up.

This all relates to this movie, and Christmas, because Christianity is fundamentally about the power of love and The Bishop’s Wife is also about the power of love and therefore a great Christian movie. As 1 John 4:8 says, “God is love”. This is a profound statement. At the time of the New Testament it was completely radical. But this also relates to our modern world in that most discussions of love, especially in a Christian context, tend to so idealize women and sexual activity as to be completely unrealistic about natural desires and erotic realities. This is particularly true among Christian traditionalists. CL has a good post on this:
http://curmudgeonloner.wordpress.com/2011/12/16/another-pedestalising-trad-catholic/.

Among the religious traditionalists and fundamentalists we get the worst kind of pedestaling and white knighting. The reality of a  wet vagina is not part of the dialogue about modern love and  romance; but modern love and desire cannot be understood without understanding this fundamental principle of womanhood: what makes a woman wet is what she will love. Game understands the sexual or “wet vagina” part of this, which is what makes game so powerful; but most Game followers often overlook the love element, and thus remain ignorant about an even more important part of the feminine psyche and therefore ultimately negate the most useful elements of Game in the end.

Cary Grant: his film persona was one of civilized, cultured masculinty.

I often write so graphically about sex because I want to get real about sex in a religious or spiritual context and not talk about it in pious platitudes that are divorced from the realities of life. Without trying to sound too boastful, let me say that I have been successful with women in my life sexually and otherwise because I am not afraid to love, including sexual love. I knew pain was possible, and indeed, there has been much pain; but all the pain was worth the experiences of love. In order to enjoy love you must follow a few things, such as: be unafraid of rejection; be confident; be powerful; move on to the next opportunity when one fails, and know, that even a morally pure Bishop’s wife can fall under the spell of romantic and erotic passion if the circumstances are right. After all, even her body craves sexually what all women crave and she will respond sexually and emotionally to the right man. The Bishop’s Wife is a good portrayal of that.

James Bond: One of Film’s Iconic Alpha Males

15 Thursday Dec 2011

Posted by in art, culture, men, women

≈ 2 Comments

James Bond may be cool, but when it comes to women has got nothing on Racer X...

Oh yes, my ideal life. This is something ALL men desire. We can all imagine what it would be like to have a harem.

One thing I enjoy about the James Bond movies, especially the older ones, is the pure, unabashed enjoyment of women. The women are not wallflowers either. No, you have to a be tough chick with brains to engage with James Bond.

In my mind Sean Connory is still the best of the Bonds, and the old Bond films are the best ever. There was a certain class and style to them, unaffected as yet by the need for special effects and outlandish plots or gadgets. They were simply good spy stories, fantastical yes, but still good, driven more by an interesting plot and intrigue than a need to show explosions and fancy effects. Perhaps the first three are the best of all: Dr. No, From Russia with Love and Goldfinger. After that, like most movie franchises beyond two sequals, they start to become a bit more trite, the plots worn out, but even then many are still good entertainment. The real downhill slide started with the late 60’s and 70’s Bond films, although even then there are still good ones.

Roger Craig’s first Bond film, Casino Royale, was one of the best and revitalized the series, but still not at the level of Connory’s films. I have yet to see the second one he made, but I hear it was not as good as his first.

Sean Connory as James Bond: the consummate alpha in film.

And of course…there are few film characters more iconically alpha than James Bond. Yes, he is just a character in a movie, but it is nice to imagine..such as having a harem. All men want to be James Bond.

The Roman Poet Ovid and His Love of Feminine Beauty: Amores 1.5

12 Monday Dec 2011

Posted by in art, beauty, erotica, poetry

≈ Leave a comment

"Then came Corinna in a long loose gown/ Her white neck hid with tresses hanging down"

The great Roman poet Ovid (43BC -17AD) wrote much about erotic themes. Here is one of my favorite poems of his, from the first book of his Amores or “Loves”, a series of short, elegiac poems on the theme of love. In this particular poem, the fifth in the book, Ovid is describing a warm summer afternoon where he enjoys first the sight, and the then body, of his mistress, Corinna. Whether Ovid actually had a mistress named Corinna is a source of debate, she may have nothing more than a product of his literary imagination, but I would like to think that she was more than simply a fictitious figure. Something in this poem tells me she was real.

This poem reminds me of all those wonderful, hot and sweaty summer afternoons I spent in bed enjoying the pleasures of love with a woman. I feel sorry for the all those anal retentive, conservative prudes out there who have never experienced such pleasures. Such is their loss. But as far as the world of erotic love, Ovid captures the atmosphere quite well.

The following is a translation of this poem by the great English poet, Christopher Marlowe (1564-1593), who himself was a devote of eros. I am sure he found a kindred spirit in Ovid.

Amores, 1.5.

In summer’s heat, and mid-time of the day,
To rest my limbs, upon a bed I lay,
One window shut, the other open stood,
Which gave such light, as twinkles in a wood,
Like twilight glimpse at setting of the sun,
Or night being past, and yet not day begun.
Such light to shamefast maidens must be shown,
Where they may sport, and seem to be unknown.
Then came Corinna in a long loose gown,
Her white neck hid with tresses hanging down,
Resembling fair Semiramis going to bed,
Or Lais of a thousand lovers sped.
I snatched her gown: being thin, the harm was small,
Yet strived she to be covered therewithal,
And striving thus as one that would be cast,
Betrayed herself, and yielded at the last.
Stark naked as she stood before mine eye,
Not one wen in her body could I spy,
What arms and shoulders did I touch and see,
How apt her breasts were to be pressed by me,
How smooth a belly, under her waist saw I,
How large a leg, and what a lusty thigh?
To leave the rest, all liked me passing well,
I clinged her naked body, down she fell,
Judge you the rest, being tired she bade me kiss.
Jove send me more such afternoons as this.

I enjoy the celebration of pure physical beauty in this poem. Ovid is rejoicing in the natural beauty of this woman, the vision she presents to him. Feminists often complain about the “male gaze” and this poem depicts well the gaze of Ovid over his woman’s body. He is in love with the erotic moment itself in all its forbidden pleasure. He conveys this to us through a series of concrete yet concise images of feminine, erotic beauty.

As the poem opens, she is seen first in the summer mid-afternoon light. We can imagine the scene as Ovid lies on his bed, enjoying the sight of her before an open window, while another window is shut. It is a shadowy world, as Ovid says, much like the pictorial effect of chiaroscuro, the contrast of light and shade, of which many Renaissance artists such as Leonardo were so fond: “Like twilight glimpse at setting of the sun/Or night being past, and yet not day begun”. In this world of shadows, a world that is sensuous and partly secret, she presents herself.

She is depicted as wearing a  “long loose gown/ Her white neck hid with tresses hanging down”. How lovely it is to see a woman dressed so. It is the sort of depictions I often strive for here in the erotic photos I post, the same photos that the conservative religious warriors consider “filth”. And yet here is Ovid describing in words what I enjoy showing through art of photos.

Ovid, like any man would, then snatches her gown off. He does not waste time, but Corinna at first resists, then finally succumbs to Ovid’s desire. When she does, and “stark naked as she stood before my eye”, Ovid delights in detailing her beauty. He finds no fault “wen” in her body; her arms and shoulders are perfect; and then the rest of her is described with sensuous pleasure:

"Stark naked as she stood before mine eye..."

How apt her breasts were to be pressed by me,
How smooth a belly, under her waist saw I,
How large a leg, and what a lusty thigh?

Yes, Ovid enjoys feminine beauty. He then takes her, and “down she fell” and we can imagine what happens from there. The scene “fades to black”, to use a film metaphor from earlier Hollywood, and we are finally left with Ovid’s prayer to Jove (Jupiter) to provide him with many more afternoons. Indeed, fucking on a hot summer afternoon is a most pleasant delight. To ask the gods for many more such delights is more than understandable. In the end the poem is a mixture of both implicit and explicit eroticism. Ovid gives us a detailed picture of a beautiful woman and the erotic power she possesses over him, and he delights in that erotic power, while still leaving us with the mystery of what exactly happened the rest of that afternoon. We can imagine what happened, and that is good enough.

I am sure if the religious fundamentalists had their way such a poem, such a blatant and open encomium to feminine beauty, would be eliminated from the face of the earth. After all, our precious souls cannot be corrupted by such expressions of fleshly desire. Our salvation would be in jeopardy, and they religious fanatics know better than we do what is truly good and right for us. I am sure to many out there, such a poem would be considered “porn”. After all, even in his own time, Ovid’s poetry was somewhat scandalous, and eventually contributed to his banishment from Rome.

Like Ovid, how I do love women...

But as Ovid, and many other poets and artists thought the ages, shows, expressing erotic desires and experiences through art is a fundamental human need. And when done well, good erotic expressions, such as this, can also be great art, transcending time and place to become part of a common heritage that is both delightful and instructive. The Roman prudes of his own day tried to suppress his poetry and reputation, but Ovid had the last laugh, and is remembered today, two thousand years later, for his great poetry while the moralist of his own time are largely forgotten.

Great Erotic Films: A Streetcar Named Desire

10 Saturday Dec 2011

Posted by in culture, eroticism, women

≈ 11 Comments

Marlon Brando and Vivien Leigh, the two main stars, in a moment of sexual tension.

This film is infused with such an intense eroticism that, having recently seen it for the first time, I asked myself, how did I ever miss seeing this great movie up until now?

Now, this film, based on the play by Tennessee Williams, as produced in 1951, has no nudity, no sex scenes, nothing, and yet it is one of the most erotically charged movies I have ever seen. Set in the sexually sultry world of New Orleans, the film explores the power of eros, especially the destructive power of eros. The two main characters, Blanche Dubois (played by Vivien Leigh who won the Best Actress Academy Award)  the troubled, highly flawed Southern Belle, a woman who knows she is past her sexual prime but still clings to whatever beauty she has left, while trying to escape her sexual past and the primal, animalistic, sensual Stanley Kowalski (played by Marlon Brando in an Academy Award nominated role), are two of the great performances of all time. I won’t say much about the plot here, except to say that the encounters between Brando and Leigh are intensely erotic. She is clearly a highly sexed woman, whose sexual desires have brought chaos and destruction into her life; and Brando, as the tough, unbridled man of animalistic and sexual masculinity is intensely attracted to her, and vice versa. It ultimately ends the only way it can: disaster for both. In many ways Brando portrayed the first great bad boy, alpha role and was an immediate sex symbol afterward. His is the first real expression in film of a raw, primal, unbridled, utterly masculine and visceral sexuality that most women find intensely attractive.

There is some nice dialogue in the movie which reflects what is often discussed in the manosphere: the attraction women have to aggressive, masculine, even violent men and their disliked of weak men. At one point Blanche is talking to her sister, Stella, the wife of Kowalski. Stella informs Blanche that Stanely often breaks things, that he is violent, and that this was true even on her wedding night. Blanche wonders why Stella did not leave, and Stella informs her that she did not leave because, in fact, she found Stanley’s violence exciting. She was turned on by his aggressive, masculine nature. Can we say “Rhiannon and Chris Brown”?

At another point in the movie Blanche, who is clearly getting the gina tingles from Stanley, calls him an “animal”. Here is the full quote. Blanche is talking to her sister, Stella about how she, Blanche, looks down on Stanley, even though we know she is deeply attracted to him:

“May I speak plainly?… If you’ll forgive me, he’s common… He’s like an animal. He has an animal’s habits. There’s even something subhuman about him. Thousands of years have passed him right by, and there he is. Stanley Kowalski, survivor of the Stone Age, bearing the raw meat home from the kill in the jungle. And you — you here waiting for him. Maybe he’ll strike you or maybe grunt and kiss you — that is, if kisses have been discovered yet. His “poker night” you call it. This party of apes.”

Brando, the animal, and Leigh who both fears and desires him.

And yet both Blanche and her sister Stella are deeply turned on by this “animal”.

The movie is based on a play by Tennessee Williams, whose work often deals with erotic themes. Williams was gay, and although he wrote the screenplay for the movie, the movie removes all references to homosexuality, which is part of the original play, and important to the overall plot. The censors at the time did not like such allusions. The Christian conservatives today would probably still feel the same way. If they had their way, most likely Williams would be thrown in jail and his worked destroyed. I think Williams homosexuality, existing at a time when it could have gotten him jailed, lead to his ability to create such highly charged depictions of erotic passions, passions that were in turn trapped and ultimately repressed in the strictures of the society around them. Such a phenomena usually leads to something explosive, whether in life or art.

Leigh, still attractive at 38, as the seductress.

The film also contains other important characters: Blanche’s sister, Stella (played by Kim Hunter in an Academy Award winning role) who is married to Kowalski and Kowalski’s buddy, Harold Mitchell, (played by Karl Malden in another Academy Award winning role). Malden’s character is a classic beta who falls for Blanche, white knights her, and suffers in the end. Stella is the somewhat demure, steady sister who keeps coming back to her abusive husband Kowalski, who needs her as much as she needs him. These act as effective foils to the two main characters and offer a nice contrast to the heated, unbridled sensuality that exists between Blanche and Stanley. All in all the film was nominated for twelve Academy Awards.

Malden, courting Leigh. As an aging, increasingly desperate white knighter who is ultimately disillusioned by his idealized image of the manipulative Leigh, he is a classic Beta.

What is nice is how this film, without any sex scenes or nudity whatsoever, so effectively conveys a world of intense erotic drama and sensuality. This is due both the great performances of Brando and Leigh, and to the great writing and cinematography. It just shows that often the most sophisticated and long lasting forms of erotic expression are found in those genres where the eroticism is more implied than explicit, such as in art, poetry, novels or good films. To hint at something erotic is often the most effective way to convey the true eroticism of life: since so much of our erotic encounters are first experienced through the mystery of nuance and innuendo, they are first visual and verbal without being tactile. We meet someone, feel attracted to them, and then begin to wonder where it might lead. And that can be a most pleasurable experience of the mind. If it leads to the bedroom, even better. The ensuing physical, erotic experiences are often quite intense.

Kowalski (Brando) with his wife, Stella (Kim Hunter). Although he is abusive towards her, she loves him, and she admits his bad boy violence excites her. He is the classic Alpha.

So I highly recommend watching this movie. Not only are such subtle yet powerful depictions of sexual desire and consequences something that is becoming rarer and rarer in the film world of CGI dominated plots, if you can call them “plots” anymore, but the film displays true insight on the deep and perpetual motives of sexual desire and attraction that lie hidden within most of us, often trapped and unable to be expressed out of our own fears and repressions. After all, great art has a way of shedding a bright light on our inner natures like that, and this film is truly great art. As mentioned above, this movie was based on a play of the same name by Tennessee Williams, and Williams best work is up there with Euripides, Shakespeare, and the other great dramatists of erotic passion.

The Beautiful Women of Film Noir: Jane Greer

04 Sunday Dec 2011

Posted by in art, beauty, culture, women

≈ 1 Comment

The beautiful Jane Greer in the classic noir film, Out of the Past.

I love the women of noir film. If ever you want to immerse yourself in something which as antithetical to the white knighting Victorian image of the morally pure woman that so many still cling on to, just watch noir films. The women are beautiful, dangerous, sexual and completely amoral or immoral. They act first and foremost out of their own self interest. Most of the men who get caught up in their lives end up destroyed or dead by the end. And yet the men find them intoxicating. We all know how women fall for bad boys. And yet, if noir films are any indication, men can fall for “bad girls” too.

The women of these films ooze sexuality. The men love them. They fall hard, throw everything away, and become themselves amoral in their pursuit of these femme fatales. One gets the sense, by the way these women are portrayed, they were great in bed, sexual dynamos, and all men love a sexual dynamo. They are a sexual drug to the cynical and tough male leads in these films.

Jane Greer as Kathie Moffat in Out of the Past. Men love a woman who packs heat...and is not afraid to use it.

Out of the Past is considered one of the great Noir films. It has contains all the elements of the true noir genre. Robert Mitchum, perhaps the king of all great male noir leads, plays a tough and cynical private detective trying to escape his past, but never really succeeding. He is manipulated by a classic femme fatale, the beautiful Jane Geer, in in a performance that is considered perhaps the best one or two noir femmes of all time. Kirk Douglas is cast in an early role as an enthusiastic and powerful criminal who is trying to set the score straight for things in the past that both Mitchum and Geer did to him. And yet he is also under the spell of Geer’s character. In addition there is the standard bevy of gangsters, hit men, night club owners, and other shady characters.

One of the all time great noir films.

The film is a sensuous display of light and shadows. I have often mentioned how Renaissance painters, such as Leonardo, used something called “chiaroscuro”, the subtle mixture of shade and light, to achieve an almost dream like affect in their works. Noir films also use this technique, and none does it better than Out of the Past. It creates of world that is far from ideal, a world of  doubts, fears, toughness, double crossings, manipulation, and overall uncertainties about exactly what is going on in the plot. The concrete urban settings of many noir films, usually Los Angeles or New York or some other large metropolis, reflect a stark, cynical realism that is needed among the characters if they are to survive their personal circumstances. Much tobacco and alcohol are needed to help these people get through each day.

Mitchum and Greer in Out of the Past. The use of light and shadows is a classic element of noir films.

The dialogue of these films are great too. The noir film genre grew out of the hard boiled detective novel, the great writers of which were Dashiell Hammett and Raymond Chandler (who wrote The Maltese Falcon and The Big Sleep respectively…and both books were adapted into great nor films starring Humphry Bogart). Both these writers, heavily influenced by Hemingway, wrote in a sharp, crisp, pointed and economical style which is then transferred to the screenplays of these films. The dialogue is often sharp, witty, terse and tough. The men and women engage in a banter with each other that is both seductive and intriguing. The plot is heavily dependent upon the dialogue, so it is important to follow along, which requires a bit more attention from the viewer and sometimes the plots can be quite convoluted and confusing. But this works well for the noir film because life can often be quite convoluted and confusing and these film are seeking to mirror some of the darker aspects of life. Hence the term “noir”.

One nice example of good dialogue is this snippet from Out of the Past: Cynical private eye Jeff (Robert Mitchum) says of femme fatale Kathie (Jane Greer) “She can’t be all bad. No one is…Well, she comes the closest.” Classic.

Mitchum and Greer: the sophisticated and civilized game of mutual seduction begins.

So there is a realism to these films which is quite appealing. Life for most of us is difficult. There are bad and evil people in the world. We are going to be manipulated at some point, people are going to leave us, things are going to seem difficult. Life is not all the American dream of working hard and finding your dream. No, you can work hard, and still get fucked over by the system. Noir films express this quite well.

And then there are the women. What can I say? There is no other genre outside of porn where women are portrayed as tough and sensuous and sexual and self centered as these creatures. The women are real. In the world of white knighting, especially among the religious and feminists, women are the morally pure and superior beings, usually helpless victims preyed upon by terrible male sexuality. In the noir there is a certain equality between the sexes: both men and women act in their own self interests to get what they want. And this is more true to real life than the fantasy of the morally pure, virginal Victorian maiden that so many men and women want to see women as. The women of noir are sultry and sexual. They are intelligent, often outsmarting the men in their lives. They won’t hesitate to sleep with someone to get what they want. They are beautiful. They are dangerous. There is always an undercurrent of sexual tension running through the film, even though there is never any sex scene actually displayed, and, when some love scene begins,  everything simply fades to black. And I can understand how the male leads are always falling in love with them.

Greer is quite lovely. She could melt Mitchum's heart with that soft look, yet still be as cold and calculating as ice underneath.

So noir films are a great contrast to the fantasy world of sexuality and human behavior that so many want to engage in, and then impose on the rest of us. No, women are not simply pure virginal maidens; women are sexual beings too, flesh and blood like the rest of us, with just as many vices and flaws as men, who can be just as manipulative and dangerous as men. And I love them!

More Greer: I mean, she is just hot.

You get the sense of noir women would be real screamers in bed too. Other great female noir stars would be Lana Turner, Barbara Stanwyck or Lauren Bacall, just to name a few. Each one needs their own post. Indeed.

Beautiful Older Women: Liz Phair…And Comfortable in her Sexuality.

03 Saturday Dec 2011

Posted by in beauty, women

≈ 13 Comments

Liz Phair is hot...

Recently on CL’s blog this post on Liz Phair appeared: http://curmudgeonloner.wordpress.com/2011/12/02/liz-phair-and-game/#comment-1225

Now I have never listened to her, or even really knew who she was, but from what I can gather from CL’s post, in addition to being a good musician, she is a fairly open women when it comes to sexuality. I will admit I will probably never really listen to her, seeing I really don’t like chick music, but her sexuality is intriguing. A woman who writes a song about “Hot White Cum” is someone who deserves a post on this blog.

Liz Phair is 44 years old, and she still looks great. She is still hot and sexy. This just shows that women do not have to age poorly, if they take care of themselves. She also shows how women, as they grow older, become more confident and comfortable in their sexuality. Young women may have the superior physical powers, the more lithe, supple bodies, but too often they are basket cases of insecurities and low self esteem. Plus, since they know every man wants to get in their pants, they often have an overly exalted sense of sexual entitlement and will use that in the most malicious and immature ways. Many also simply suck in bed, often due to their lack of experience, insecurities, and poor body images. And psychologically, many are simply immature. I do enjoy the intellectual stimulation of a grown women after I have fucked her, after all. How much life experience does a younger women bring into a relationship? What can you really talk about with her? Now not all younger women are like this, I have certainly known some, and still know some, who are not, and I enjoy them as women, but they are mostly the great exception to the rule.

Lovely...

For the most part, women are not allowed to enjoy their sexuality in our world. If they do, they are shamed by their sisters as being sluts. Many men also shame women who are sexual. Religion oppression just adds to this (recently I just saw a story about a woman in Afghanistan who was jailed for….being raped. That is right, someone raped her, and she was accused of adultery and jailed. Oh, the joys the multi-culturalism and theocracy all wrapped into one!!!). I think however the highly sexual woman tends to get more grief from other women than from men, since other women see them as competition, or potential threats to the man they have. But what the slut shamers do not understand is this: if a woman is highly sexed, and is good in bed, and good and kind to her man, most men are not going to stray.. A highly sexual woman who loves you is often too good a find to risk. Perhaps many men do not understand this, but many do. I myself love highly sexual women, because I myself am highly sexual, and need a woman who is the same. Most slut shamers, as well the religiously pure, tend to be the more frigid types anyway.

Damn...

As far as Liz Phair, I think this beauty needs to be praised with a few nice photos every now and then on this blog. After all, beautiful women comfortable in their sexuality are one of my favorite pastimes.

Balance: Key to a Healthy Sexuality and Eroticism

02 Friday Dec 2011

Posted by in beauty, eroticism, religion, spirituality

≈ 5 Comments

I love all depictions of erotic feminine beauty.

Often on this blog I talk about the pleasures of sex and eroticism. However, this does not mean that I endorse a completely uninhibited reign to the flesh. On the contrary, I think there are times in life when abstinence from sex, even celibacy are both perfectly normal and healthy. What I argue for here is simply balance: to not go too far in either direction is, I believe, the best path to happiness, whether spiritual or bodily.

When we refrain from sex for a while, even from self induced pleasure, we can actually find this increases erotic sensitivity. Sometime too much sex can be saturating, a pleasurable saturation, yes, but one that leaves us a bit desensitized to the deeper nuances of true sexual pleasure. In many ways I like to compare sex to that other favorite fleshly pleasure we pursue: food. Gluttony has always been considered something undesirable, even a sin in Catholic teaching. No one would argue against this today. The fact that overeating leads to obesity which leads to health problems is indisputable. So overindulgence in food is never really a good thing, despite whatever transitory pleasures the moments may bring.

And yet there is nothing wrong with enjoying the pleasures of food. I like chocolate cake. But if I ate chocolate cake everyday I would probably die shortly from a high cholesterol induced heart attack. If not that, then I would become very obese and quite unhappy. So I willingly refrain from eating chocolate cake, except on special occasions, or even, when I just feel like it. But not every day.

To me, many of the prohibitions against sexual pleasure often seem extreme. It is as if some are saying, “You should never eat chocolate cake, except on someone’s birthday. To do so would be a great offense against God. To even think about eating chocolate cake is a sin!”

Now the parallels between food and sex are not exact, but I feel they are closer than any other parallel when it comes to physical pleasures. Both deal with bodily desires, needs, and fulfillment, and both provide us with great pleasure. But we also need food in a way we don’t need sex. We can live without sex; we can’t live without food. Both food and sex can become obsessions and even destructive things under the right circumstances. You can obsess over something you do not have and crave, such as food or sex, or you can suffer the consequences of overindulgence. With food overindulgence, this leads to health problems, poor body image, low self esteem; with sex, you wind up with unwanted pregnancies, STDs, psychological issues, just to name a few.

Leaving something to the imagination is often quite erotic too...

Conversely, when we obsess over food because we are focused on the negatives, such as weight gain, and then totally deny ourselves food as a result, this can lead to psychological disorders and physical disorders, such as anorexia or bulimia, which in turn can have severe if not fatal consequences. When we deny ourselves food because we view it as a negative, this is an unhealthy thing. The same is true with sex. When we obsess over sex as a bad thing, which is all too common among religious types, then that can lead to severe neuroses, and even dangerous and self destructive behaviors. So we don’t want to go too far in either direction, either the direction of overindulgence, or the direction of neurotic abstinence. We should always strive for a healthy balance.

This is really what I am arguing for so much on this blog, a healthy, normal, and balanced approached to sexual desires and sexual pleasures and erotic expression. I argue for this because too long in my life I have seen the effects of an unhealthy and self destructive approach to sexuality, especially among religious groups or individuals.

And yet there is a healthy way to abstain from things, a way that is beneficial and productive and edifying.

As far as a healthy abstaining from certain pleasures, we can enjoy the pleasures of good food because having expensive and sumptuous food feasts is not something most of us do on a daily basis. Thanksgiving happens only once a year, thank God. A good restaurant meal is something most people cannot afford except every now and then. But when we do have a good feast, it is most enjoyable.

Healthy fasting ultimately allows us to enjoy and appreciate food better. The same is true with sex. When we abstain from sexual pleasures in a healthy, holistic way, we can heighten our awareness of how delightful those pleasures are, just as when we abstain from food we can appreciate much more deeply how good food actually is. Eroticism is felt more deeply; an appreciation of beauty is more keen. I have even felt this myself. After sex with one too many women, especially in a short period of time, I need to take a break. Boredom begins to set in. The thrill of sex can be lost when there is an overabundance of it, especially of the vicarious, even thrilling, but ultimately meaningless kind

How I love women...so beautiful...

Of course for the new lovers or married couple, lots of sex is part of the delights. But eventually the sex will become more mundane, although, perhaps, deeper too as the couple learns more about each other. This is why love is such an important part of human relationships and true eroticism. But that is for another post.

So sometimes I do take break from it all: no sex, no masturbation, no erotica, nothing. This may last for a few days, or a few weeks. The longest I have ever gone has been no more than three months. Eventually I need to return to some pleasure, but in the meantime, I learn new things about myself, and enjoy whatever increased productivity or focus I have in other areas. Again, it is sort it is like fasting. When we fast from food we are not denying ourselves food forever, just for a short period of time. That this can be a good and healthy thing is I think reflected in the fact that fasting has been looked upon as a good thing, even a spiritual thing, for thousands of years in a variety of different cultures and societies. But we do return to food eventually and find our enjoyment of food that much greater.

So I think the same can be applied to sex and eroticism. To comply deny them, as so many religious do, is a bad thing, but to completely give yourself over to them can also be a bad thing. It is always, as Aristotle reminds us, the same Aristotle beloved by St. Thomas Aquinas, that most Aristotelian of all great Catholic theologians, that the middle way that is usually the best.

More feminine beauty....lovely.

Again, my beef with so much of religion with respect to sex and eroticism is that too often it does not take the middle road on sex, but rather tries to enforce a sort of purity from all sexual desires and practices which I think is more harmful than helpful. The Catholic Church prohibits ALL sexual pleasure outside of marriage as sinful, without exception. How can this not lead to psychological problems for so many people? I read recently one young woman’s blog about her “battle for purity”. As a girl with an obviously natural and high sex drive, but with absolutely no outlet for her sexual desires except for self denial in the name of God, her blog is a testimony to the self inflicted torture that so many religious souls put themselves through all in the name of conquering the flesh. I have witnessed the unhealthy and negative effects of this too often now in the world around me. I have experienced it in my own life, seen it in the lives of my friends, and read about it in the lives of others through scandals, hypocrisies, “falls from grace”, etc. After a lifetime of this, it has simply become too much for me to bear any longer so I feel the need to engage in some sort of dialogue about this beyond simply obeying what traditional Christian teaching may be on these matters.

To me, a person can be both chaste and sexual at the same time. For me, this is the healthy medium. And again, what I try to emphasize here is ultimately a healthy approach to sex, sexuality and eroticism.

And if I do err in any area or excess, I will admit that I do love erotic art and photography, as is obvious from my photos on this blog. Oh well, no one is perfect. Beauty is after all quite intoxicating.  Erotic beauty to me has always been a great delight and pleasure.

I like good erotic art too...

Vice can be beautiful. And according to Catholic cultural traditions, we are all allowed at least one vice.