I like erotica which is beautiful and natural looking...

After searching through different porn venues, I find most porn to be dull. For a while now I have been doing this, actually trying to study the nature of porn, in a critical and objective way, to see what gradations of skill, craft and beauty there is to this strange medium. What I have found is most of it is rather trashy. Perhaps this should not surprise anyone, least of all me. There is little beauty among standard porn, for the most part. It only makes me appreciate the pleasures of good erotica even more. I don’t know. It is a difficult thing to get your hands around, and, as I said, I have been trying to objectively see what is out there, as a sort of cultural phenomenon, which it is. Porn is a part of our lives now, and with the internet, it is not going away, whether we like it or not. Everything from girls taking cell phone pictures of themselves and posting them on the internet to all out elaborate, sexual movies is part of the porn phenomena. Porn exists, like drugs, because people want it, and, like drugs, it is here to stay.

So what makes bad porn? It is hard to say. These are some of the things I do not like. Others may feel differently, so these are only my own personal preferences.

Trashy looking actresses: too many tatoos, fake breasts, big hair, too many piercings, women obviously hardened by too many cocks violently fucking them for money. Seriously, there is only so much of this a person could possibly take before the psychological toll begins to show. Although we are sexual beings, we are not really meant to be that promiscuous. Most people only have a few partners in their lifetimes, which is probably the norm as nature or God or both intended.

Stupid, unrealistic scenes. I like to see porn that is realistic. I want to see something that might resemble the girl next door fucking her boyfriend sort of thing. You know, the girl you are interested in, or that girl you may have had crush on while in school, whom you thought about while you masturbated, etc. I want to see what she might look like fucking. The nicer the girl, the hotter the fuck. There is something intensely hot about seeing a good girl in public turn into a something quite sexual when in bed.  It is a common male fantasy.

Exceedingly violent scenes. These do nothing for me. Watching girls gag on a penis is not appealing. Watching her ass get violently fucked is not appealing. It seems rather dangerous to me, actually. I don’t know how many girls would actually enjoy doing this in real life, as well, but I imagine it is not too many. Some do, but not many. I like my sex physical, even rough, I like to be dominate, but that is different than watching a girl choke and gag on an enormous penis or have her asshole ripped apart by violent anal sex. For me, in the end, sex needs to be something mutually pleasurable, and loving.

A lot of the girls obviously are not enjoying themselves. They pretend to be enjoying it, but you can see it in their eyes that they are not, the distant look, the disassociation, the lack of true pleasure. It reminds me of the looks of so many of the girls who work at strip clubs, who dance while staring off into the distance, surrounded by hoards of men eager for more, eager to spend more money to keep the fantasy and illusion going that these girls are actually interested in their sorry asses. In porn, there are erotic depictions where the girls are obviously enjoying themselves, and those are hot. But as for a lot of porn, it is too fake. I suppose porn is the sexual equivalent of WWF wrestling. I am always asking myself: “Is she really enjoying that? Is that real?”

I need to see the girl's face, her expression of pleasure, as well as her lovely body for erotica to be good.

Bad angles. I want to see the whole girl’s body and her face. I need to see her beauty, to see her body move, to take in the whole visual scene of two lovers on a bed, in order for it to be appealing. Excessive close up of penis going into the vagina does not do it for me. It seems too clinical, too detatched from the deeper aspects of sexual pleasure. It turns whatever human element there is in sexual depictions to something that is purely animal. Good erotica should capture something of the natural, deeper emotions of human sexuality.

Grannies, trannies, fatties and other fetishes. Sorry, but I like my women at least in shape, of a reasonable age, and relatively normal. A little weight is no problem, but morbid obesity is disgusting. One of the most disgusting things I ever saw was a morbidly obese woman having sex. The man literally had to lift a slab of enormous fat from her crotch in order to reach her vagina. I almost vomited and that was only after the one minute I could endure watching it. When I see stuff like this, I become aware of the fetish factor, the weird factor in porn, and that there are a lot unsavory characters out there watching this stuff, bald fat guys who have never had a girlfriend, fifty year old virgins, or acne faced teenagers jerking off to it in their basement, then going out into the world and desperately looking for the same thing, but always frustratingly in vain, and I want to get as far away from that as possible.  I suppose some people enjoy this fetish stuff, and I really don’t have  problem with that, but for me, it is just plain gross. Call me an old fashioned erotica conservative. I like the more traditional, straight forward erotic depictions of sex and love making.

Like everything, at least for me, there must be a certain degree of beauty involved in what I am being entertained by. I find pleasure in beauty. Porn is no exception. And yet it is not easy to find good porn, porn that is free from the crassness and harshness that infects too much of the industry. What I enjoy seeing are beautiful people having beautiful sex in a natural setting. It appeals to the innate visual parts of us.

I like a sense of down to earth, natural beauty in my women...

Then again I have always been picky in these areas. My standards for beauty are high. I don’t like ugly or dark things. Too often there is kind of darkness to your standard porn, and ugliness which makes it unappealing. It is ultimately…depressing.

Something strange happened to me while studying this material. I was not expecting it. After seeing so much which was purely carnal and corporal, so much of which was plainly crass and ugly and devoid of all emotion and psychological nuances, devoid of all that makes us human really, I felt the need to deepen my spiritual life. Now part of what I like to write about is the nexus between spirituality and sexuality, so this is nothing new. But what is new is the sense of how important beauty is in most things, even in erotic things. As I said, the lack of beauty in most porn is what makes most porn unappealing to me. With spirituality, I have never felt a lack of beauty. It is always there. It is always present. As St. Augustine says, “ O Beauty, even ancient, ever new, too late have I loved thee.” Now he was talking about beauty as a reflection of God, but I think St. Augustine, at least before his more puritanical later days, was someone who appreciated feminine beauty as well. He was, after all, in his younger days somewhat of a rake, a sort of Roman PUA, and even fathered an illegitimate child. After his conversion to Christianity, he still felt this draw to beauty, and the greatest beauty for him was found in God. After examining a lot of this porn, I felt the need to cleanse myself a little bit by becoming a bit more spiritual, while at the same time not denying the sexual and erotic part of my nature, even the visual part of those. Beauty is a part of both the spiritual and erotic, and both those are part of a greater, overall divine web. I need both, the erotic and the spiritual, and the beauty inherent in both. But as I have often said before, this is a work in progress for me, as I journey along this path of spirituality and sexuality, of faith and eros.