One of the worst fates for any man is be stuck with a frigid woman. If a man lives in fear of his wife or girlfriend, in fear that she will be constantly judging him, denying him sex, and not enjoying sex, their relationship is doomed. He will turn to porn. He will turn to prostitutes. Eventually he will turn to another woman.
So many women think all they have to do is show up, offer their vagina a few times for plowing, and they have fulfilled their conjugal duties. Often these are the same women who are uncomfortable with their bodies, with sex, with sensuality. A man joined to one of these creatures, if he is a man at all, is condemning himself to a lifetime to spousal misery. The most painful celibacy in the world is the celibacy of being married to a frigid bitch.
There seems to be two camps among women: the women who like sex, and the women who judge other women for liking sex. Without wading into the murky swamps of female social order, let me just say, I am all for the camp of women who enjoy sex. I say we need to encourage more women to enjoy sex. When I am with a woman, I want to feel comfortable with her, I want to know she is willing and ready to submit to the ultimate in sexual and sensual experiences with me, that she is as open to the joys of erotic pleasures as I am. I have been with a few women in my lifetime who were not like this, who were more uptight and frigid, and those relationships, while they lasted, which were not long, were utterly hell. Living with a sexual harpy is no fun at all. It is akin to walking not on eggshells, but on broken glass, broken glass sprinkled with salt.
I wrote a post a while back on the joys of sluts: https://theracerx.wordpress.com/2010/12/19/i-love-slutty-women/. So let me say this again: I love sluts. I like having a slutty girlfriend. And by “slut” I mean this: a girl who loves sex. I don’t care how many guys a girl has slept with, I want a girl who loves sex, who is open to fantasy and experiment, who is free with her eroticism. I love a girl who masturbates. I love a girl who likes porn, reads erotica, and indulges her sexual fantasies. Most men think that a slutty girl necessarily means infidelity. This will most likely not be the case if you are good in bed. A slutty girl will love you and want to be with you if you can tap into her inner whore, make her orgasm every night, and love sex as much as you do. If you love giving her sexual pleasure, most likely she will love you in return, and give you as much sexual pleasure back. If you handle the relationship correctly, if you have a real, deep and honest emotional bond with her, such girls will most likely bring you happiness in and out of the bedroom, and you will have a free, relaxed and wonderful time with her, perhaps even for a lifetime. A girl can be a slut and still monogamous too.
So, I would much rather have the slutty girl, the girl who has fucked a lot of guys and loves cock, but who loves my cock the most, over the pure, virginal, yet frigid bitch. The frigid bitch will make your life hell.
So as I said once before: Long Live Sluts!!! I Love Them!!!
P.S. Of course there is a particular delight in turning the frigid virginal bitch into a cock loving slut…but that is for another post.
willcrimson said:
You lay it on a bit thick. Women aren’t either/or when it comes to sex & sexuality. They’re not *either* frigid *or* sluts (and I’m sure it wasn’t your intention that the post come off this way but it did). I would question your advice insofar as it might apply to relationships besides yours. There’s obviously more to a relationship than sex, and I doubt that you like sex any more than I do. Sometimes the art to a beautiful relationship or marriage is in knowing that the “perfect” match might as well be non-existent and that we can’t have everything we want, but we can have enough to call it love and *be* in love. Men shouldn’t feel cheated if they’re lovers aren’t as sexually charged as they are (and vice-versa). If a lover is wonderful in most or nearly every other respect, then maybe sex once a week or once every two weeks, instead of every day, is worth the remaining bounty.
commutersex said:
my original response to your post was that i appreciate what you said because i sometimes, not often feel kind of guilty for enjoying sex so much. i think that is a reflection of what some men say or imply…
in the sense that they seem to want me to be a dirty slut -for them- but can get very jealous if i do the same thing for someone else.
i know one guy who spends an inordinate amount of time asking me to compare his cock and techniques with other men…
is that the male equivalent of “do i look fat in this?”
the obvious answer he wants to hear is “oh yeah baby your cock is much bigger than him!”
and i guess that brings up wills reply- that a relationship even a non monogamous relationship is based on so much more than sex….and really good sex is about more than just good looking parts and mechanically going through some acrobatics…
Racer X said:
Will,
Thanks for the comment, Yes, laying it on a bit thick is what I do. I agree with you that there is much more to a relationship than simply sex and that there is a broad spectrum between slutty girls and frigid girls. My posts really are not meant to be logical methods of giving relationship advice, but rather impressions of what I have experienced in the world around me. For the most part, especially with my sex posts, I try to keep them light, carefree and a bit on the sarcastic side. Whether I succeed or not in that is of course another matter. For instance, recently I had an experience with a girl who is a bit on the frigid side, and remembering my other experiences with such girls, and how uncomfortable such creatures can make you feel. I compare that with girls who are more open sexually, and the relationships are often more relaxing with the sexually comfortable girl. A person with a high sex drive like me is not going to mesh well with a person who does not have a high sex drive, is moralistic, and has a negative view of sex. With the sluttier, more carefree girl, the talk flows more freely, the sex is better, the overall atmosphere tends to be more relaxed. I feel better, and more comfortable, and happier. The relationship is more likely to work. Now that is just my experiences. Others may have entirely different experiences. As you said, different things work for different people.
Commuter,
Thanks for the comments. I enjoyed what you said:
“in the sense that they seem to want me to be a dirty slut -for them- but can get very jealous if i do the same thing for someone else.”
Yeah, jealously is pretty much hard wired into the human brain. Even I can’t escape that one. If you like someone, then it is hard if not impossible not to feel jealousy over such things.
“i know one guy who spends an inordinate amount of time asking me to compare his cock and techniques with other men…
is that the male equivalent of “do i look fat in this?”
Haha. Yes, I have heard this from girls before. Guys are always comparing themselves to other guys like this. One polyamorous lover told me how one guy she was seeing was always asking her who was better in bed, me or him. He would always end the conversation with her by saying, “Remember, I’m better!” It is the male equivalent of the “do I look fat in this”. Men can be just as vain a women in their own ways.
eM said:
I agree with you. While sex shouldn’t be the basis of a potential long-term relationship, I do agree that it is key to the success of any relationship and both parties must be or get on the same page in order for it to grow. FOR SURE I would move on from a guy who wanted to have less sex than I did and equally, I wouldn’t blame a guy for doing the same if I couldn’t keep up with him. This principle really applies to all things that you value as part of a relationship beyond sex. Good relationships require open communication above all so that you can get on the same page if you aren’t already there. I remember a guy who complained at the end of our relationship because I didn’t fulfill his sexual fantasies…Dude, NEVER, EVER, EVE, talked about it and I am not a mind reader!! Better Communication = Better Sex.
I like your balls-out approach. I was stunned a bit yet also smiling and laughing throughout. Fave line: “but who loves my cock the most” <—– ROTFL!
willcrimson said:
Well, if you’re feeling sexually slighted, you can always sue.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44428110/ns/health-sexual_health/
Racer X said:
Em,
Thanks for the comment. I am glad you like the post. The comment about your ex who never told you his sexual fantasies and then complained about it…yeah, how are we supposed to read someone else’s mind? Sharing sexual fantasies with a girl is one of my favorite pastimes!
Will,
Thanks for the link…it was pretty funny.
Cam Langdon said:
Some women love sex more than some men. You just gotta work out which ones they are, and good luck with that one 🙂
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gael said:
Sometimes I think to myself, what if I saved myself for my husband… would it be the same? Then again, I doubt I could have please him as well if I had been a virgin our first night together.
One thing I can say, having been with other men before him makes me appreciate even more how just how great he is.
Racer X said:
Yes, it seems as though your husband has benefited from your previous life!
gael said:
I always tried my best to please… right from the very start. If I can’t keep up, I just let nature take her course and follow his lead. I’m sure he would have loved me just the same.
Still, I agree. He definitely did benefit.