Now this may come as a surprise to some of my readers, but I have mentioned spirituality often on this blog, so perhaps it is not too much of a surprise to say that I believe in God. As a matter of fact, I attend church on a regular basis, which means every Sunday. I know, it probably sounds crazy, perhaps it is, someone like me, writing all the filthy things I do on this blog, going to Church. I hope I have not lost too many readers because of that! But it is the truth. To be even more specific, I am Catholic. I believe it was Rivelino who once said he liked that the fact that he was brought up Catholic, because it means that sex will always be a dirty thing for him. I know exactly what he means.
My sexuality and spirituality are an unresolved part of my personality. I think I might start writing about those things as bigger issues here, not only my own experiences, but what I see as the contradiction and hypocrisies in society as well. I think there are a lot of people out there like me, deeply sexual, but also deeply spiritual, and, like me, trying to bring the two into harmony within themselves.
But that is for a later post. Today I would like to relate this story. Today I was at Mass and I saw a girl standing/sitting in the pew in front of me. She had on a short, hot denim skirt. Beneath it she was wearing a pair of dark stocking which made her legs look all the more enticing. She was curvy, with luscious, thick brown hair and a cute, sweet but sensual face. She is the type of girl one often sees in a Catholic church: kind of innocent looking, but with a scent of hidden sexuality. You know, the type of girl that Rivelino ends up obsessing over.
Some would say not to look at her. Some would say it would be sinful. Yet I looked at her. Not only did I look at her, but I enjoyed her beauty, the eroticism conveyed by her skirt, her curves, and the overall naturalness of what has to be considered God’s wondrous creation. Why should this be wrong? Why are so many religions so uptight about sexual desire, eroticism, and beauty? I don’t have the answers. But in the past I may have tried not to look, then looked, and felt guilty about it. Or I may tried to suppress my desires and ended up even worse, slightly neurotic about it all. Fortunately, those types of reactions were a long time ago. Now, I simply look, enjoy, and say, “What the hell, a good looking girl. Why not enjoy this moment of beauty.”
I love all things beautiful, especially when they are women.