Perhaps it is strange to write about such things on a blog such as this, but I have to mention that sometimes going without sex can be a good thing. Often in the PUA world the idea of celibacy, or going without sex, is considered the worst fate that could befall a man. And certainly involuntary celibacy can be a difficult thing. But to chose not to be involved with others can have its positive effects too. There are times in life when I simply do not want to have sex or be involved with someone. Even the one night stand or quick fuck can be problematic and if I have a lot going on in my life I want to avoid all occasions of complication. Also, I am very picky about the aesthetic qualities of my women, so I will not sleep with a girl if I do not find her attractive. Some men will fuck anything simply to get laid; I like having some standards. Once in my life I had sex with a woman I did not find attractive. It would be the last time I ever did that. A woman does not have to be beautiful or a ten, but being moderately attractive with a fairly decent body is essential. Also, in this day and age you have to be careful and safe when it comes to sex, so I prefer not to catch anything, and thus sometimes it is better to play it a bit safe. And as we have seen from many celebrities and news headlines out there, there are a lot of nutty people in the world, especially in the sexual realm, so sometimes caution is better than recklessness.

What I have found is that eroticism is often heightened when I am not having sex. You can actually get more in tune with your body, your emotions, your mind and the energy not expended on conquest can be used for other things, such as creative endeavors or what not. For me, I need a lot of time for artistic or intellectual pursuits, so often I simply do not want to be bothered with interpersonal complications. Yet the erotic desires are always there; and when you are taking a break from sex, they are increased. I also find my sense and desire for beauty are also intensified. It is almost similar to fasting. As someone with spiritual longings and desires as well as erotic, I can tell you from first hand experience that going without food for periods of time only increases your appreciation of food when you finally do have it. The same is true with sex and eroticism.

Also, the sense of self control and power over one’s actions is improved by going without sex. As much as I love the idea of mass sexual conquests, and as much as I have engaged in that in my life, I do not want to become a slave to my passions. The greatest weapon a man has in the whole PUA scene is the ability to simply walk away. Most men are so desperate for sex that they will do anything, make the biggest fools out of themselves, for pussy. I prefer to maintain at least some dignity and not debase myself in pursuit of women. That skill is learned better when you chose to not to have sex, at least on occasion. In addition, far too many times in my life I have woken up next to a woman I really did not like, and that is never really a pleasant experience.

Eroticism can be experienced in many ways in life. It does not have to be always in a sexual relationship; it can be in other ways. The look, the feel, the touch, the smell, the energy of others can be enjoyed without sex. A mere intellectual exchange can be filled with erotic tension; this then can lead to a world of fantasy, and perhaps later on to a physical reality, or maybe not. But that does not deny the erotic reality of the purely mental kind. The world is filled with beauty, if we seek it out. I have found I can be more sensitive to that beauty when I am not indulging in sensual delights. Of course when the sensual delights do come I will indulge, even binge, and after a time without sex this is usually the case. But how much sweeter and enjoyed and appreciated they are when you have spent a period of your life without them.