As much as I love the idea and have the hunger for bedding as many women as possible, I also believe in self control and restraint. As hinted at in some of my latest posts, the build up and the tease are as much a part of eroticism as the sex itself. Really, the best lovers I have experienced are the ones where the sex had been delayed, sometimes for quite a while. Also, today one does have to be careful. There is simply too much nasty stuff floating around out there, as well as too many unhinged people about whom you have to be cautious. The wages of mass unbridled sex can be costly, even dangerous. So, I am increasingly becoming more a believer in perhaps a slightly more traditional sexuality, where the ancient joys and games of seduction are embraced and enjoyed. I also think women enjoy this immensely as well and revel, even more so than men, in the buildup, so long as the man knows how to keep directing the seduction towards the ultimate goal of good sex. As important as getting inside a woman’s mind is, she always wants to know that you find her attractive and that she is fanning your inner lust for her. The mind fuck and the eye fuck must always go hand in hand. In my experiences, a good seduction is a combination of both the mental, physical, and even spiritual.
Now this is not to say I do not enjoy the fast pick up, I do, but I have come more and more to appreciate the power and pleasures of the slow seduction as well. Also, I have always believed in quality over quantity. I like standards. I have a certain high aesthetic. Better to chase a quality girl who is a bit hard to get, even if you fail, than the easy lay. The former is more of a challenge, and more complicated, and like all things hard and complicated, the rewards are deeper and more intense. And honestly, I would rather be celibate, than lower my standards and fuck a woman I did not find attractive. Skanks, in the end, are not all that hot. A quick fuck, yes, but that is about it. The hot girls are the ones who dress well, act well, and present a certain air of feminine class and sophistication. They are the ones who make you wonder what they are like in bed, rather than advertising to the whole world what they are like. You want to chase them. What lies behind the veil of their sexuality is always alluring and something to be hungered for and ignites my inner hunter instincts.
So perhaps these things, restraint, anticipation, wonder and intrigue, even embracing high standards, are a bit out of step with today’s fast hook up culture, but they are old fashioned, even ancient, and like all things traditional and ancient they have a certain eternal truth to them. There is a reason the great art and literatures of the world have testified to these qualities for millennia, art and literatures that will endure long after the crass commercial eroticism of today’s culture is long forgotten.
The Chase 
jmkaye said:
And honestly, I would rather be celibate, than lower my standards and fuck a woman I did not find attractive.
Very wise.
brightstormyday said:
Great post.
I absolutely, absolutely, absolutely love guys who “take it slow” but don’t just “take it slow” but escalate.
You know, guys who make you suffer while you in turn make him suffer.
A game.
A dance.
That’s what it is. Sluts miss out on the dance. They miss out on the courtship. On the excitement.
There’s a lot to be gained by raising your standards.
And leading the dance, like a man.
anoukange said:
Your maturity and broad-minded is so nice.
Guys vary in their needs for fulfillment and happiness. For every player that doesn’t know how to love or doesn’t require it for happiness, there is a guy that both desires and functions better with it. The whole package, even if for a temporary time in one’s life is a rich experience. I was once of the belief that all humans required love so they seek it by nature. Then I began to dissect the brain and see how it fires and receives. We can lump many into general groups, as many do fit rather plainly so, and they never develop. But others are special. They contain things that bring inspiration. Connect on several levels is delightful as all hell. There’s logic to it in the sense that the person is making you charged on more than one level, which brings happiness and healthiness usually. As we age I feel we get better at choosing because we know ourselves more. I find someone’s process sexy. I want to hear about their layers, how they came to be. Connect with the potential of love is when you go deeper into the person you have met, and as you do they get more intoxicating, more interesting, more thought provoking…
then you have sex.
and then you make love.
and then you have sex/make love/fuck/lay/talk/walk/explore/eat/sleep/repeat……
Racer X said:
Jmkay…Yes, I do have standards. A lot of guys will just fuck anything because it is a girl to fuck, but I have to feel an attraction, at least on the physical level. Otherwise it is not worth it for me.
Brightstormyday…You are right about those who miss out on the dance and all the pent up excitement that comes from it. Patience rewards you with intensity.
Anoukange…What you say is so true. Love, desire and eroticism are multi-layered and the deeper one delves into these worlds the deeper the experiences in the end. I have always been a devotee and practitioner of passionate sex and love. If you can find those at least at some point in your life you have found some wonderful treasures.