I am indebted to the lovely Anoukange’s post http://anoukange.wordpress.com/2009/12/26/its-true-what-they-say-about-circles/ for sparking this idea in me, but let me say few words here about how sex begins in the mind. What is the “mind fuck”? From my experiences, it is when you are mentally connected to someone, when you can feel the attraction between you and another person, when every encounter and moment together has some hint of eroticism, but for one reason or another you are not physically intimate. You may be in the future, and that is part of the intensity of such situations, but for the moment you are not. Yet, with each passing glance, with each furtive, lingering gaze, you are fucking each other mentally. This is always the precursor to great sex, but as I said, sometimes it never goes beyond the mental. Someone may be married, or involved with someone else, or there may be other complications, but beneath it all is that desire, that drive that if only circumstances were different, if only we were alone for one evening, then the mental fuck would metamorphose into a heated physical fuck. The game of seduction could be considered a slow form of mental fuck as well. One thing is true: if you can get into the mind of a woman, most likely you can get into her pants as well, that a wet pussy most often first begins with a stimulated mind. Most of my love affairs were deeply mental as well as physical and emotional. I like taking things to an extreme, experiencing all the world of eroticism has to offer, leaving nothing untouched or unfelt. For me, eroticism has to be experienced in its totality for the complete, delightful pleasures to fully appreciated. And it all begins, in one way or another, in the mind. I love the mind fuck, not only as a pleasure in and of itself, but as a foreplay to the real pleasures of physical and sexual passions.
But I think Anoukange summed it up best: “Ah…the psychological shag. Makes for hot, heavy, earthy sex where you catch glimpses of each others eyes and every glance and sound is loaded. The silence is loaded, the inches between you are loaded. The ranges of submission are tested in stairwells and the daylight coffees bring you both to the ‘what ifs’ that mind fuck you into having to change panties.”
Yes, it is the wondering, the what if, the tapping into the imagination and fantasy world that is so much a part of true eroticism. Eroticism is more than simply sex: it is about what entices us, allures us, leads us on, makes us attracted to someone else and wonder what it would be like to be with them in different ways, to satisfy that mental and sensual desires that lives deep within us.
Yes, I know many a woman who confessed to me that they had to change their panties after an intense, but purely mental, encounter with me. Few things are more erotic, exept perhaps finding out just how wet her panties had become after a long, but lingering mental fuck.
anoukange said:
The mind fuck is the only way to start a romance in my opinion. No mind connect, no great sex, period. Thanks for being the kind of guy that not only acknowledges this, but delights in it. Prolonged build-up is a very torturous and stimulating trip. Every last touch is loaded and to ride that energy is divine. Pure addiction will ensue, but of the sweetest variety.
I haven’t had many lovers but the only time I had bad sex with someone was because there was no mental connect and no build up. I gave it some room to grow into a good sexual connection and it never did. Sex should always be phenomenal, I have no idea why some participate in anything but. What a waste of time.
Racer X said:
Thanks. Yeah, I agree that sex should always be phenomenal, and the mental connection is always key to that in so many ways. Eroticism can be experienced in many different ways, not just the physical.
db said:
i wholeheartedly agree with anoukange!! seriously, amen to you, racer x.
this quote really resonates: “if you can get into the mind of a woman, most likely you can get into her pants as well, that a wet pussy most often first begins with a stimulated mind”
seriously, i think men would greatly benefit if the industry made good woman-targeted porn. not the guy porn, where it’s “perspective-based” and you never actually physically see a woman have an orgasm (unless it’s that “squirting” stuff) and where it’s only about the man coming all over her face/tits/ass. seriously though, women’s minds are also very stimulated by visualization… i’d guess almost as much as men!
Cande said:
You hit it right on the nail. That’s exactly it. I just wish it were like that within a relationship too. Why does it just dwindle or be non existent in the first place?
This brings me down a bit. This is (a good portion of) the epitome of my dilemma. I just wish there could be “more” than just sex. Making love doesn’t involve mind fucking. And neither does sex. You have to have it ALL.
Racer X said:
Db…yes, it would be interesting to see what the impact would be of more porn targeted for a female audience. You are definitely right about women being about as nearly visual as men. I have known many women who enjoyed porn as much as men, or at least were turned on by images. Up until the internet age this was always thought to be not the case, but as we have seen when it comes to female sexuality, a lot of it was and is misunderstood.
Cande…I agree with you completely when you say you “have to have it all” when it comes to the best, most meaningful sex.
gael said:
This is so true!
Once a man gets a hold of woman’s mind, often times, he’ll get a hold of her body as well. It probably won’t happen immediately, but it will eventually. That’s how it happened between me and my husband – day one I turn him down, but he’s always been there. After a few weeks, as well as several sexy dreams starring him, as well as his cute charms and persistence, he was able to have his way with me because the desire that was blooming inside me was all too much.
The sex we had was great and meaningful, because even if it was just a lustful encounter, it led to something beautiful for the two us.
Racer X said:
Gael,
Indeed, good sex, and good loving, always starts with the mind. This is part of the world of eroticism that too many overlook. To cultivate this is to cultivate a better love life!